Janet had her hair done

Janet’s life and mine intersected at various times in our lives. I first met Janet when I was perhaps 12 or 13 at church one day when she came with her parents. I hadn’t seen her before, since she didn’t attend our Sunday School. Because of her visual disability, she had been attending the Brantford School for the Blind. Thus she only came to church with her parents when she was home for the weekend or on a summer holiday.

One day I introduced myself to her. I don’t remember at all what I said or how I asked her about herself, but that was the beginning of our friendship.

By this time, Janet was very adept at reading braille with her fingers. Her fingertips on the raised dots would let her “read” what her eyes couldn’t see.

One day when she was at church with her parents, and her brothers were in Sunday School, I was invited to sit with them for the service. Being there beside her with that huge Braille hymnbook, I figured I could make myself useful, and so I volunteered to hold one side of the book while her Mom held the other side. Then Janet could glide her fingers across the “notes” and she could sing with the rest of us.

At some point she started to write letters to me, with her Braille slate and heavy paper. And her mother’s neat handwriting under each line so I knew what she was telling me. In person was really much easier, but this would work when she was unable to come to church. And she shared with me one time in a letter how hard it was to go to school away from home. I know that her parents made the best choice for her education, but still it must have been hard to be away.

One summer day Mom agreed to my request to have Janet come for a visit. Mom made arrangements with Ruth, Janet’s mother, to bring her for the afternoon. I remember how Janet cheered on my little sister, Kim, as she ran around the kitchen table. Janet would hear her feet moving on the floor and hear her giggles. Her other senses were keen.

Janet played piano, so we invited her to play ours. I think Mary and I might have played one of our pieces from music lessons. I was amazed how Janet played with no notes in front of her as my sister and I had for our lessons. She had memorized her pieces and she played well. I think Mom knew that her family had no piano in their home, so when her mother came to pick her up, bringing along her little brother, we invited Janet back to the piano to play. I remember watching her Mom’s face while Janet played.

I do remember one time Janet asking if she could touch my face so as better to know me. It may have been on that visit to our home. I agreed she could, and it felt odd, but I was learning more about her disability and imagining how it would feel not to see anything and to need help to go somewhere new. Janet didn’t wear sunglasses as some folks did who had no vision, but it didn’t bother me. I knew only that her eyes couldn’t follow anyone around the room.

There was a long interval between our visits, and while I worked at the day care centre in Waterloo, Janet was living in a residence in Kitchener and needed help with something. My landlady received the call, and being a kind helpful person, and having been a teacher, volunteered to help Janet with her task. I didn’t get to see Janet that time, but at a later date, when visiting a mutual friend in Stratford, where Janet lived at the time, Barbara and I had volunteered to take Janet out for lunch. Things weren’t always easy in Janet’s life but we did accomplish that.

Some years later when Janet was in hospital, Mom called and said Janet was having some difficulties. She wondered if I might go and visit Janet, since I was in Kitchener. I went. Janet was not very happy that I had come, specifically to the area of the hospital where she was. I offered to go home, but she said to stay and visit. And so that’s what we did. We talked and she shared that she had been married, and after some time, her husband had died. She was obviously distressed about that.

My family life kept me occupied with our girls at home and growing. So many years passed and circumstances that limited or prevented opportunities to visit with Janet, but I never forgot her. I asked about her whenever I met family members at the home town fall fair or at our home church where members of her family still attended.

About a month ago, Janet’s obituary appeared on the Stratford newspaper obituary list. My husband showed me the link and I determined that if the weather was suitable, I would drive there and attend her memorial service.

I was grateful for a day with no snow, and some sun, though it was windy. I found the place she’d called home for the last number of years and went in to a warm reception area and greeted members of her family, as well as the previous chaplain, Elaine, who had also come. She said that when she visited Janet, she got to see some of Janet’s amazing poetry that she had written. I hadn’t known of her interest in writing poetry.

Another thing that amazed me was Janet’s ability to knit. Apparently she made quite a few little sweaters to send overseas. Some of those sweaters were also modelled on teddy bears in photos of her.

Baby photos

Quilts on the wall of the chapel

Front of the chapel

Photos of Janet and the bears that wear sweaters she knitted

When invited to go to the lectern and speak on behalf of Janet, I took the opportunity and shared much of what I shared here. While the gathering was relatively small, it was a caring one made of family, church friends, and people from the residence who had known Janet. I’m glad I was able to attend the memorial service to pay tribute to someone for whom I always had a soft spot.

Rest in peace, Janet. Until we meet again. Maybe then you can see my face in a new way.